


In the Absence of a Mind Meld

by Miss_M



Category: To Whatever - Shaenon Garrity
Genre: Epistolary, Flash Fic, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Letters, Post-Canon, Roommates, Shippy if you Squint, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_M/pseuds/Miss_M
Summary: “Of one mind” is a nonliteral human expression, like “I’ll be there in two shakes” or “how do you like them apples?”





	In the Absence of a Mind Meld

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liviania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liviania/gifts).



> I own nothing.

Hey roomie––

I’m sorry about this morning. I had a little too much to drink last night – no, it did not go well with the new guy from work, I’ll tell you about it sometime but not right now – and not enough sleep, and so wandering into a bathroom full of steam to discover you in the bathtub squeezing the bejesus out of a rubber duck so it sounded like an air-raid siren… 

That sentence got away from me. Suffice to say it was not what I was expecting, and I was not best prepared to roll with it. I apologize for shouting at you. It was nice of you to mop up all the splash puddles after yourself. 

Also, where did you even find that rubber duck? It’s Richard’s, or it was Richard’s. I was sure I’d thrown out all the trash he left behind. At least it wasn’t Willem’s. Maybe to you it isn’t trash. The rubber duck, I mean, we are of one mind on the subject of Willem. 

If you like the duck, you’re welcome to keep it. There should be room for it on top of the medicine cabinet. Just please don’t squeeze it repeatedly between the hours of 10 p.m. and 8 a.m., okay? The landlord is a stickler for quiet hours.

Sorry I’m rambling and not practicing my runes like I promised. You don’t get hung over, so just trust me when I tell you it makes everything about 50% harder to do. 

One more thing: I don’t know if you pay for the food you replace and you’re running short on cash (in which case, you just need to tell me, I don’t mind footing the grocery bill for a while), but that new brand of half & half you’ve been putting in the fridge? It’s not half & half. 

I should have said something right away, but we were still working out the kinks in our roommate arrangement and I didn’t want to offend you. Whatever that stuff is, you obviously like it, and I don’t mind it being in the fridge. However, I would like to revert to using a dairy product that comes from an actual cow from this plane of reality. I really appreciate that you’ve been helping out with groceries, but that stuff you get is giving me serious indigestion. So I’ll be taking care of the half & half for the time being. Cool?

Yours,

Ethan

P. S. Clarification: “of one mind” is a nonliteral human expression, like “I’ll be there in two shakes” or “how do you like them apples?” When we are of one mind, that means we are in agreement, we hold an opinion in common, not that we are literally of one mind. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I expect I will be, eventually, just not yet. The clown cats _are_ scary, despite what you say, and the extra dimensions of St’betnet still give me motion sickness. Give me time.


End file.
